Productive Mommy

I don't like to talk about myself on this blog, but today, I am.
I have been thinking about Sophie constantly, which I think is healthy because she is definitely a motivation for me. I recently went to a psychological crisis center due to suicidal thoughts, but I was scared of them. I always end up thinking, "I don't want to disappoint Sophie." Well, thank God, I managed to get there and get help.
The doctors there sent me away with prescriptions for Haloperidol and Prozac, but upping my usual dose 20mg. It's been about two weeks since I left and the difference is like night and day. They have boosted my will to live and my energy. I have been able to go to bed before midnight and get up by nine in the morning. Lots of sleep, which has been difficult because I have been having lots of abdominal pain and I believe I have inherited the lovely and joyous [insert sarcastic eye roll here] sleep apnea. So, I wake up often, but I have actually been sleeping better, which I am happy about.
This productiveness will help me get up more and be moving, which will help with my weight. I've noticed in two days alone, I have dropped three pounds due to me just getting up and doing things. I am thinking positively about this, because I have needed this. My mood swings [from happiness and contentedness to depressed and suicidal in a heartbeat] are becoming shorter and less occurring, which I am also happy about. All of this is good news.
I go back to the university on the 24th, moving in with two roommates that I hope will be positive influences on me. I hope to start afresh this semester and pick my grades up and work out through these problematic situations. I am excited for a fresh new start. I think this year is the year of ironing out these problems.
And most of all, this will be the first full year making Sophie an active, daily part of my life, which I am really starting to love. My depressive moods are growing shorter, so I can cherish my daughter much more now than before. I can continue up her legacy and keep this blog flowing and growing. I am hoping to be receiving some emails here soon about other angels' stories, so the support and strength can continue to grow.
Overall, my state of mind is very clear, and I am ready for life to come again. I am ready to get back into living. I think I have a very special angel to thank for this new refreshed productiveness to thank, and so I send all my love up to her today. I love you Sophie Bug.♥♥♥
A mother's love never dies.