A Letter to Sophie Olivia

I wrote this yesterday when I was having a really hard day... And I cried the whole time:

Dear Sophie,
Today was really hard. But I bet you already know that. I bet you know more about me than even I do. I mean, I'm your mommy and being in Heaven, I bet you keep an eye out for me. I'd do the same for my mom. But I'm writing you anyway because I haven't acknowledged you or my pain or my grief in so long, and I know I owe you that. Because I love you and I am so proud that you're mine. I just miss you SO MUCH. I mean, I get the whole eternal perspective, I really do. And I am happy you haven't had to suffer here on earth like I have. But still, this heartache is just horrible. And I want more than anything just to be with you. I feel so selfish for it, but that's how my heart feels. I just want my little girl. Sophie, my life feels so empty without you. I know that someday things will be better. But right now? It's so hard. And I just want to make you proud, Sophie. I just want to be a good mommy for you, and I'm sorry if I've let you down. Just know I love you so much and I miss you and that I'm always thinking f you and you'll forever be my little girl. I love you so much. Stay with me, sweetpea. I need you so much. As hard as life is without you, I thank God for you, because you also keep me going. You're my everything; my world, Sophie, and I will always and forever love you. NEVER forget that, sweetheart. Because I do. I love you. So much I cannot even put it into words.

Love always and forever,                                                                                    

Mommie Katie

A mother's love never dies.