Lola Rose- Angel Baby

The second email I received today comes from a mom I have had the privilege of speaking to before. I have a Tumblr account, which is one of the places I have started spreading the word about this blog. It was through Tumblr that we started talking and I got to hear Lola's story for the first time. I have been amazed at just how many angel mothers there are out there, and with every story I post, the more my heart just grows for the love of all these angel babies and their parents. Here is Lola's story:

This is about a beautiful princess who never made it to her mama's arms..

Finding out you're pregnant is such a scary time but with it brings so much hope, joy and excitement. From day one, I knew that I loved the tiny life that was in my belly. I knew that no matter what, I was going to do my best to take care of this tiny person that belonged to me.

Pregnancy wasn't easy, the sickness and exhaustion was tough. But I didn't mind, I was getting closer to seeing my little baby girl. As each day passed, my hopes and dreams for this little life were growing. I had planned a whole new life for myself and my child. By the time I was 8 weeks pregnant my belly had began to pop out. From then on, I'd wake everyday and run to the mirror and hitch up my shirt to see if my belly had miraculously grown more over night. At 10 weeks, I had a noticeable baby belly. This just made me more excited. I couldn't wait for the next few months to pass and for me to hold my little baby girl, smell her new baby scent, feel her silky soft skin. I wanted time to go faster so that I could feel whole as a person. I felt like this baby was slowly making everything in my life perfect, I was truly happy!

Sadly my world was about to come crashing down on me at 11 weeks 5 days pregnant. I was two days off seeing my little girl for the first time. But I never got to see her, I never heard her heart flutter. I started bleeding, it wasn't bad at first but it just kept getting worse. And I was having serious abdominal cramps. By the time I made it to the hospital, the pain was unbearable..I could hardly walk. This was when I was told that I was miscarrying my little girl. I think I screamed the place down, I was crying and screaming uncontrollably. The grief and pain was shattering!

When I was finally able to go home, all I did was curl up in bed and hide away. I did this for a very long time. I needed the time to grieve the loss of my daughter. The pain shattered me, it completely broke my heart. I couldn't fight it, it was too strong and I simply had nothing left in me to fight it. I wanted to let the pain eat me up just like it had destroyed every hope and dream I had.

It's been almost three whole years since I miscarried my beautiful Lola Rose. As each day passes, the pain never fades. It will stay with me, I have since learnt to live alongside it. I have days where I can't even lift my head up off the pillow because the grief is too much to bear. But other days, I look up to the sky and smile because I'm blessed to have a beautiful Angel baby watching over me. Miscarriages devastate lives and break hearts but a mothers love will never fade. I love my Angel baby endlessly. Mummy loves you millions my little princess ❤

 Lola- You are so so missed, and you are so loved. I know your mom misses you so much and I know she loves you with her whole heart. And I am sure you miss her and love her too, and want her to be happy. I know you'll forever be a part of her. You will always be her little princess. And I am sure you and all the other angel babies are up there looking out for all of us angel moms and dads, making sure we're okay. Because you know you'll see us someday soon and we'll be together again forever.